Rough Time

I am having a rough time right now. I've realized I needed to quit drinking. The fact that it has only been one week and it is this difficult reminds me that I do have an addictive personality and I do need to be careful with these things. I have always assumed since my first time in rehab that I would probably be back at some point (although my first time in rehab was not substance related). Last night a bunch of people, including Chris, went out. I wanted to go, I did, but I did not want to be up late, I did not want to be tempted to drink or smoke. What I wanted, and what I did, was to go to bed early, to wake up early, and to get a good workout in. I am thinking about signing up for a 10k that is May 5. I am terrified though. Running has always been so hard for me. I don't know what I am afraid of though. I could just walk if I needed to. I did run 4 miles for the first time in forever on Tuesday. I ran 3 miles today. I think I may do it. Mostly right now I need an excuse, for myself and for others, to not drink. Plus every time I am unhappy with Chris, it helps me to sign up for an event. I know I cannot change him, but I want him to try harder in the relationship. At the store I bought time a steak...he didn't even deserve it. Oh well.