Vegan Lentil Shepard's Pie

I made the best thing ever a few nights ago. I am seriously so impressed with it.

Here we go!

Ingredients:
For the Pie
1 cup green lentils
1/2 bottle Full Sail Amber (this is an important ingredient!)
1 TBSP vegetable bouillon
1/2 yellow onion, diced
3 cloves garlic
Some diced carrots
A bunch of spinach
Water
Salt and pepper
For the Mashed Potatoes:
2-3 potatoes depending on size (I didn't use enough potato so more may be better)
2-3 TBSP Earth Balance vegan butter
Salt and pepper

Directions:
For the Pie
Preheat oven to 425.
1. Saute up onions and garlic in 1 tbsp oil until caramelized.
2. Add washed lentils, about 2 cups water, vegetable bouillon, and half a bottle of full sail.
3. Let simmer until lentils are mostly tender. Add carrots in or any frozen vegetables you may want.
4. Once lentils are cooked, throw in spinach and let wilt. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
5. Add to baking dish and cover with mashed potatoes.
6. Cook in oven for 15-20 minutes.
For the Mashed Potatoes
1. Boil water.
2. Peel potatoes and cut into smaller chunks.
3. Put in boiling water and boil until fork tender.
4. Once tender, drain and transfer to a bowl.
5. Mash however you want.
6. Add in Earth Balance butter, season with salt and pepper to taste.
7. If needed, add in some non-dairy, unsweetened milk (I used almond), to make more creamy.

So freaking amazing. I swear, cooking with beer makes everything better. It reheats well too. I just ate some and may go eat more right now!

Vegan Broccoli Cheese Soup

I adapted this recipe from High Carb Hannah on YouTube, but I want to write it down so I don't have to keep looking for it! It's really easy, healthy, and low calorie.

Ingredients:
1 potato (russet)
1 head broccoli
1 clove garlic
1/3 yellow onion
2 tsp vegetable bouillon
Chili powder (to taste)
Black pepper (to taste)
1/4 cup nutritional yeast

Directions:
1. Cook the onion and garlic in a pot with a little bit of water to release the flavors (3 min or so)
2. Add in potatoes and bouillon and cover with water.
3. Boil potatoes covered until fork tender.
4. Add in broccoli and boil covered an additional 5 min or until tender.
5. Turn off heat and add chili powder, black pepper, and nutritional yeast.
6. Transfer soup into blender and blend until smooth (or desired consistency).
7. Add any additional seasonings needed and eat over rice or with bread.

It may look gross, but it was delicious!

If I could change anything I would double the recipe! It would be good with a little extra salt, but I'm avoiding that. Especially after binging all weekend! It felt like a good dish to get myself back on track. I haven't exercised since Friday and I've been eating so much pizza. Last night was a BBQ at my cousin's house where I had too many beers and unhealthy food. I've been feeling so great with eating better and this weekend sort of undid that so I am just jumping right back on the healthy-food wagon. I will try to ride my trainer today, but I have a bit of a cold and a lot of school stuff to get working on and that may take priority. I may just try to do 30 minutes, slowly, to get something in! Tomorrow is a 12-hour clinical day so it probably won't happen then.

I realize I need to get a new phone with a better camera or learn how to take better pictures! Seriously though, my camera on my phone is terrible because it is so old.

Lentil Coconut Curry

I made a yummy dish yesterday for meal prep and I want to write it down so I don't forget. I'm not great at measuring so it will not be exact but eh...

Ingredients:
1 cup lentils (I used green)
1 can coconut milk
About 2 TBSP red curry paste
1 red onion diced
1 red bell pepper diced
2 gloves garlic minced
Squirt of lemon juice
1 tsp vegetable boullion
1 head of broccoli
Some basil
Extra red pepper and/or curry seasoning to taste

Directions:
1. Add onion, garlic, and red pepper to a pan with some water (could use oil, but I'm avoiding oil, extra salt, and sugar).
2. After a few minutes, add coconut milk, lentils, and curry paste.
3. Add vegetable bouillon and some lemon juice.
4. Cover and cook on med-low heat until lentils are soft. Stir occasionally. Taste occasionally and add extra spice, curry flavor, or salt as desired.
5. Once lentils are almost to desired consistency, add broccoli and basil (I wanted my broccoli still green and crisp so added it later, but it is your preference).
6. Allow to simmer until lentils and broccoli are desired consistency.
7. Serve over rice, noodles, or eat plain.

It was tasty, but would have been improved with a little extra salt. I'm still not completely used to lower-sodium foods (probably because I cheat sometimes), but I am really trying to avoid adding salt if possible. This reheats well. I ate it for breakfast-lunch (at 10 am) with cauliflower rice and I remembered that I am not a huge fan of cauliflower rice and should have made regular rice!

Pre-Hypertension

Monday, July 24th, I had my annual physical with my doctor and my blood pressure was 138/70!! Very close to stage 1 hypertension. So I immediately cut my sodium waaay down (like less than 1200 mg) for a few day and my BP dropped almost instantly. The past two days I have had more sodium, but my blood pressure is still down. I'm back on track today though. Yesterday my cousin and I took our kids to the International Wildlife Museum and then we went to McDonald's which of course is loaded with sodium. Then I had half a sandwich later in the evening which added on tons more sodium. I feel a little puffy and bloated today, but my bp is still down so as long as I stay back on track today and don't have another cheat meal/day for a week or so I should be okay. For breakfast I had oatmeal with a bunch of fruit and I know for lunch I am going to make a tofu scramble with a bunch of veggies.

My weight has come down a bit, but went up some with the past few days of eating more junk (and too much). I'm disappointed in myself for getting out of control, but I have to remember that the overall picture is what matters more. I didn't weigh myself today because I feel so puffy (plus that time of the month is here), but I have been trying to weight myself daily. I will tomorrow after a day of healthy eating today. 

I feel a bit healthier, but I've also still been really tired. The first few days where my bp dropped down to 110/70 or so I was exhausted and dizzy. A 28 point drop in systolic will do that I guess. 

I am worried about how I will sustain healthy eating during the semester since I tend to eat out way more because I am so far away from home. Eating out, even healthy options, all have tons of sodium. Chris and I bought a decent sized cooler for camping this summer and I think I will put food in there since it kept food really cool. Either way, my body just has to withstand one more year of nursing school!

I got back to the gym today and had a great workout and feel a zillion times better than yesterday. Now the problem is I am approaching the afternoon where I want to drink beer and I am going to try to refrain! I'm going to plop myself in the pool once I get my kid down for a nap so hopefully that will help! I hate to say this, but I almost want a summer cold to help get me over the hump of going a week or so without beer!

I'm going to write my workout down because it was a good one and killed my upper body! I did chest, shoulder, and triceps.

HIIT to start:
25 sec work/10 sec rest
*****************
T-push ups
Weighted straight jacks
*Repeat 4x*
Mountain Climbers
Squat and press
*Repeat 4x*
DB triceps extensions
Weighted sit ups
 *Repeat 4x*
Squat hold with weighted punch (tried 8 lb dbs and had to drop them)
Incline plyo push ups
*Repeat 4x*

Strength workout
**************
Chest flies 3x10
Superset
   - Incline DB press
   - Front shouler plate raise
Superset
   - Decline bench press
   - Lateral shoulder raises
Superset
   - Skull crushers
   - DB rear delts
3x5 overhead shoulder press (heavier)
Superset
   - Tricep rope extensions (drop set last set)
   - Plank shoulder touches

Finished off with a 20 min incline walk on the treadmill.

Then I went home and ate a lot because this made me hungry! I'm definitely starting to incorporate my body weight stuff into my routine again because I got really good results when I did before and it makes me feel bad ass and it is fun!

I'm struggling a bit...

It's been a long time since I've posted anything here because I haven't wanted to or even thought about it in a forever.

Quick update: I'm on summer from nursing school, but taking 4 classes online as a dual enrollment thing with NAU. I'll graduate in May (hurray!) and take the NCLEX as soon as possible and hopefully get a job quickly. In regards to being home, as a stay-at-home mom...it's hard and I've been having trouble with it. I love my kid, but I feel directionless and useless most of the time and that has been making me drink too much (still at 2-3 beers max, but it's every day). I've just been really nostalgic for the days when I worked at my old job, with no responsibilities other than myself and my dogs. And I just really miss working and having a sense of purpose.

My weight has also gone up a bit and it's bothering me a lot. I've been good about working out and actually feel very strong, but I miss how my body used to look pre-pregnancy.

So I wanted to start writing down things again just to help work through some of my feelings and to actually write things down that I want to change about myself. I'm just going to make a list of things I want to fix and how to accomplish it.

1) My weight: This one is hard because I do not want to diet or obsess about food and calories. I had started intermittent fasting, did 2 weeks, loved it and felt much less bloated. Three days or so ago I've gone off the rails and have had trouble fasting until 12 pm (I was doing 16:8). One hard thing it that I work out in the morning and that will not change right now. I was doing well those first two weeks and sticking to it really well. I'm going to try to get back on the ball again tomorrow. Another thing in regards to weight I have been trying to do is incorporate more cardio. It's hard though because with not working and having online classes right now, I sit so much more...hence the weight gain.

2)The drinking: Of course this contributes to the weight. I have been cracking open a beer or two everyday when Lucas takes a nap and that's not okay. Today I had three (it is 4th of July) and I just feel sluggish and gross and out of control. Also so bloated. This is going to be the hard one to change. I simply need to stop buying beer. And stop drinking it. So that's what needs to be done and there's really no other way around it.

3) Figure out what is going on with my stomach: Heartburn, indigestion. It was so much better until the past few days. It may have something to do with me eating like crap and maybe the extra drinking. So when I was doing IF, I wasn't getting any of that stomach pain. Coffee in the afternoon does it. Sometimes wheat bread. Dairy seems to sometimes do some bad things as well.

4) Find something to clean everyday (besides the usual daily stuff). I want to avoid prolonged sitting except when I have to for school work. Unfortunately is summer and really hot so walks in the middle of the day are not really an option...maybe once monsoons start up *fingers crossed*

Anyways, I'm hoping getting back on track tomorrow will help with everything. I actually ate my last meal today around 4 so technically I could eat much earlier than 12, but I'm going to try to wait and sort of reset my digestive tract and keep with the schedule that I normally use.

Let's hope than things get back to normal and I can have some willpower.

Life Lately.

So I am trying to get into Nursing school. It's super competitive and because of that I have to re-take 3 classes due to a time limit on prerequisites. I also have to take the HESI at some point...and test out of a math class so I need to study for that. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment with 3 classes and having a newborn. I wasn't feeling overwhelmed until my online, PSYCH 101 class started and oh my goodness there is a lot of work for it. I have taken a few online classes and know they are a lot of work, but this one seems excessive. I feel bad because I have been trying to do work for it today and have been ignoring my kid. Also I was getting frustrated with him taking so long to nurse (it wasn't that long, I just have no patience). He's only 5 months old so I CANNOT feel like that. Time management is going to be so important and I am just going to have to find a way to make everything work.

I have an interview to volunteer at a hospital next Tuesday which will also be good for my application. I have volunteered there before in high school and really liked it so I am excited to do it again. Hopefully I can volunteer Tuesday morning before class or on Friday when my mom can watch him. I know I will be able to get everything done that I need to this semester to apply to nursing school, but I am currently stressed out by the sheer volume of everything combined with trying to be a good mom.

How am I handling the feeling of being overwhelmed completely? Well I have had two beers and am typing this up. I know I know, not the best idea. Sometimes I am a completely well-adjusted individual and use working out as my stress relief. Other times I need a beer (or two) and feel a bit of a mess. I'm much better than I used to be though. Also, my baby is napping so give me a break.

In baby news, having a 5 month old is AWESOME! I love the stage he is right now. He laughs, he loves his bouncer, he is good at going to bed, he sleeps until at least 5 am. I really think my kid is perfect (even if he wasn't I would think he was because I love him so much). This is why I feel so bad for ignoring him to do school work today. I don't know if I am just lucky with a great kid or as my mom says, I have a good attitude about it. I don't know, but I know I love him to pieces. I think one problem that new moms have is they expect too much from their baby. We can not expect babies, or children, to act like adults. Heck, I am an adult and sometimes I protest the things I need to do. They get done, but some days I miss playing WoW all day with no responsibility. With having a kid my responsibilities have increased a ton. What with keeping a child alive. That's why on some days like today when I get overwhelmed, I drink beer (or two) in the middle of the day. I shouldn't, but we are not all perfect so shhhhhhhhhhh.

So hungry!

I am so hungry right now. Day 3 of healthy eating and staying around 1600 calories. I just killed legs at the gym and it is hard for me to not binge eat after that. So I had some eggs whites, chicken breast, and spinach. I had to cover it in salsa to make it less boring haha. I have to wait one hour and ten minutes to eat my next meal. *sign* I'm not sure if this will work for very long. One problem is breastfeeding makes me sooo hungry. At least I'm not craving sweets as much anymore (unless you count peanut butter). I did order some of that powdered peanut butter so that may help. I may just have to go over in calories today. Leg day is just tough! I'm still on the fence about adding extra calories due to breastfeeding. I want to drop weight quickly though. I'm rambling. I'm tired because the kid woke up at 4 and 6.

I haven't failed yet!

It is day TWO of me eating well, honestly tracking my calories, and sticking with an exercise routine (not that that was ever the problem). I know I will eat like a fatty fat when we go to San Diego next week, but for this week I am doing well. so far. Not that that is saying much since it is only Tuesday haha. I've made a few small changes that I can sustain for quite some time that will help cut back on calories. Number one, is switching my morning eggs to egg whites and cutting out the cheese. Now, I'm not going to do this forever because let's be honest, real eggs are much better and cheese is great, but for now this is working for me. I also made these Italian Zucchini Turkey Burgers and they are fantastic. Fantastic and only 144 calories. AND packed with zucchini.

Tonight for dinner I am going to make mahi mahi. I have some brown rice cooked up and I am going to grill up some portobello mushrooms. I'm definitely craving a beer, but I don't have any beer that I want to drink. Well, that's not entirely true. I'll be drinking enough beer in San Diego anyways so I can survive a few days.

30-Day Challenge

I somehow agreed to a 30-day challenge group on Facebook. It's one of those Beachbody things, but I said I already have an exercise routine I like...plus I don't want to spend money for a 21-day fix thing. Mostly because I don't have money and mostly know about nutrition due to my mom. Anyways. so this morning I weighed myself and took some before pictures (if you ever want to depress yourself, do that). I'm trying to get my kid to sleep so I can do some meal prep stuff, but it' not working. I did find a fitness routine I am trying. I started yesterday. It is Lee Labrada's body trainer. I did day 1 yesterday and am surprisingly sore in my biceps. I have been sort of lazy with them since Lucas was born since he weighs so much it is hard to carry him if I work my arms really hard. Anyways, let me post the before pictures and try not to barf. Also starting weight is 165 this morning.

Gross, gross, gross. Also, the no makeup, gross hair because I haven't had a chance to shower is not a good look. Oh well. I swear I can be semi-attractive when I try.

I actually made it to the gym 5 times last week! I was super proud! I switched gyms and now am a member of a much closer to me, LA Fitness. I like it. I've missed LA Fitness because there is a lap pool. I got the childcare also which I am summoning the courage to use today so I can do day 2 of the workout that I am supposed to. I'm nervous. New things make me nervous, especially where my kid is concerned. The kids club is open 8-12 and 4-8. He sleeps more in the am so I am not sure if I want to mess with that. However I feel it will be busier in the pm and that makes me nervous. I don't know why since I will be like 50 feet away haha.

I Dislike Scales.

I weighed myself this morning. It's a little discouraging how the weight is not going down anymore. I just expected it all to fall off. They always say it just falls off when you are breastfeeding. Well not for everyone. I have ran into quite a few people who have said "oh you can't even tell you had a baby!" Of course that is nice to hear, but the scale does not reflect it. Not even close.

There are a few things contributing to this problem. One, I'm not working. At work I ran around all day. Now I sit around a lot, especially when I am playing with the kid on his mat. If it wasn't 100 plus degrees in Tucson the obvious solution would be to get outside. Unfortunately, it's summer in Tucson and my kid hates being hot. Two, diet. Everyone always says diet is the most important. My soda addiction is back in full force. I also need to chill on carbs, since I am not running around all day. Three, workouts. I am getting to the gym and doing yoga regularly, but the intensity has not been there. I need to up my cardio for sure.

I always find it easier to set small goals. Especially with diet since diet is what I struggle with. My goal for this week is to cut out soda. For my fitness goal this week, I want to add 20 burpees to my daily routine. So two small goals, easy to manage. I'm fact I just did my burpees. Man are they tough!

Clean Eating? Is it something I can do?

I'm pretty good about eating "real" food. I could do better with it of course, but I have a pretty solid base. Over the next few weeks I am going to work on cleaning up, nip and tuck, my diet to attempt to get to that magic 80/20 ratio of "clean" food to junk food. Let's be real, I love junk food and sometimes I just really want some Goldfish crackers.

There are a few things I need to work on eliminating/substituting for something better:

1) Diet-freaking-Coke! I had successfully broke my soda habit, but it came back with a vengeance once my son was born. I just need to not buy it. I'm almost done with my current supply. Then no more, I swear, I promise!

2)  Corn tortillas (Mission brand). I need to find a brand with a few less ingredients. That being said, I am not too concerned with this.

3) Cheese: I have a huge bag of pre-shredded, monteray jack cheese that I use because it is so easy. Pre-shredded cheeses are a no-no.

4) My vietnamese, instant coffee mix. I am addicted to the stuff. I buy it at the asian market in town. However, it would not be considered a clean drink. I need to go back to regular coffee with a splash of almond milk.

5) Bread. Every day for lunch I eat a tuna fish sandwich. I love sandwiches. I eat whole grain bread from Oro Wheat, but need to search for something else. I had heard Ezekiel bread is a good alternative.

6) Mayonnaise: For my daily tuna fish sandwich. I know I could make my own, but heard it is very hard to find pasturized eggs. I was considering substituting plain, greek yogurt or just finding the most healthy pre-made mayo I can. Or I could eat something else for lunch for once...

Basically I have a few substitutions I need to make. I do refuse to substitute my Heinz ketchup. Moderation. Maybe I will drag the kid to Sprouts today for some grocery shopping.

On the kid front, he has learned how to blow raspberries and it is hilarious.

The Reasons I Want to Smack my Husband.

Being a new parent is hard. It becomes more difficult when you and your significant other are not on the same page. I am in that boat right now. My husband thinks I should just put our son down when he is crying after he has been fed and changed because he thinks he needs to just reset. Sure, that is logical, but newborn babies are not logical. It's just lazy parenting on his part and it is pissing me off. I'm home all day with this kid and up throughout the night with him. This is what I have learned about our son. During the day he likes stimulation and human contact. He likes to bounce and swing, but from a person, not a machine. You cannot spoil a newborn. I may leave the house tomorrow morning during his fussy time so he can become familiar with what it is like. I don't trust him though since he likes to think out kid will soothe himself. That is terrible to say and obviously something in our relationship we need to work on asap.

He is really freaking cute though.

Well it has been awhile...

So I haven't updated this in almost 2 years. My things have changed. For one, I got married. For two, I had a baby! Three weeks and one day ago to be exact. I have started this up again mostly to help me track losing the baby weight and getting back into fitness. Also, since I am home all the time with a baby, writing things out every once and awhile may help my sanity at times.

First things first; I got put on bed rest at 32.5 weeks. I had to stop working and stop working out. So it has been a long time since I have lifted any weights. Once I got off bed rest I cleaned out my garage and did yard work and stuff, but haven't been to the gym in a LONG time! I miss it of course. May 4th is my appointment with my OB to get cleared for normal activities. So I have been allowed to walk. I walk almost every morning and luckily we have a lot of hills in our area so I feel like I get some exercise. I ended up gaining about 40lbs with pregnancy (I ballooned the last couple weeks). So far I have lost 20 and that came off very fast. Now I've plateaued, but hopefully I can start moving in the right direction once I am cleared to exercise again.

Now about my diet. I need to clean it up a bit. I'm breastfeeding which makes me hungry all the time. I've never been one to limit food, but I do need to clean up what I am eating. I'm trying to focus on a lot of protein, veggies, and fruit. The problem with not sleeping much is I start to snack more throughout the day. That is fine, I just need to focus on what I am eating. I'm not going to count calories yet since the kiddo eats every 1-2 hours but maybe st 3 months.

Anyways, I'm getting tired and a little loopy so I may lay down since the kid is asleep. I will start documenting with photos soon, but they are not backed up on google drive so I need to work on that.

First outside run in ages

I finally got my butt outside for a run this morning. It was hot already...I should have left earlier. I did 3.25 miles in about 30 minutes which is not too bad. I live in a hilly area so adapting to the up and downs will take a little bit of time. It's good to have those hills though because it keeps the run more interesting. It has seriously been so so long since I have run outside. This run hurt though as my joints are still adjusting to running. It is my right ankle that just hurts like hell. I know this is just a normal adjustment period that I have to get used to.

On another note I drank too much beer last night. Not alone though, with friends. I do not have a hangover because I drank a butt-load of water last night. I just feel yucky....like I ate too much and had a little too much beer (which is what happened). I had fun though with the girls. My biggest decision now is if I want to go to the gym later and lift some weights because I haven't all week. I think I may, just to keep the rest of my body strong still. Plus, I have a lot of calories to burn off from last night.

I have some delicious meat to grill up today so that is exciting.

I ran 6.36 miles today in 60 minutes...then the treadmill forced me to do a cool down. I felt good the whole time. Now, I know a lot about health and nutrition and what a person should eat before a long run or any endurance cardio, but let me tell you, my body responds best to preservative-filled, super sugary cereal. Today I had Reese's Peanut Butter Cups cereal. I have done long workouts or long bike rides after eating a "good" breakfast of egg and whole grains, but I feel infinitely better when I eat sugary crap before I do anything like that. Anyways, I wanted to go 7 miles, but the treadmill forces the cool down after 60 min. This just means I need to get my ass outside and run on the road, which I realize will be harder. At least I am keeping myself in good cardio shape for running by doing it on the treadmill.

I made something delicious today. Homemade egg" mcmuffins."

I got the recipe idea off of this website. I added Canadian bacon which was a delicious decision! Anyways, it's another grab and go thing that I am hoping Chris will eat. It is so frustrating to me how unhealthy he is. It's even MORE frustrating that he doesn't see it that way. For our honeymoon we want to go to Colorado...I want to hike, he would probably die.These things bother me more when I realize that we will be together forever and I may have to be the one that takes care of him if he doesn't shape up his lifestyle. Now if something catastrophic were to happen (cancer, accident, etc...) I would not be upset. Preventable illness/injury would make me upset. Oh well, you cannot force people to change.

Let's talk about something. I may or may not have an alcohol problem. I do not drink a lot when I drink, but I drink often. I only drink beer and I only drink beer that I like. That being said, I will drink 2 or 3 beers every night. I know other people that do this and probably never consider it a problem. I, however, have a terrible habit of getting addicted to things. I have poor impulse control and I have problems saying no if I want something. This brings me to tonight. It is Friday night and I am trying not to drink a beer or two or three, but it is difficult. I last drank on Tuesday (again, only 2 beers) but I had also drank just about every day for the whole entire week before. Maybe even two weeks. I just think it may be getting out of control. This brings me to the next issue, going out with friends. All my friends are big beer drinkers (again, not a lot, but we all love it). Tomorrow I am supposed to go to a friend's house where I will want 2 or 3 beers. Now I have my alcohol limit and I am good at sticking to it, but the point is I will probably not say no. I just think if I feel like it is a problem, it probably is a problem.

On another note, I am debating doing a half marathon in December. Running has always been a bit of mental (and physical) torture for me...and this week I have been completely run down and have skipped the gym for 4 days in a row (unheard of for me). I feel my motivation coming back even as I sit here tonight. The thing is if I start to run, I need to run outside and that means my whole workout schedule will be changed. I normally go after work and that is not an option yet living in Tucson, AZ. I'm still debating and while I debate I will do my lifts and run on the treadmill. I do have to admit that taking 4 days off from the gym has felt good. I think my body may have needed it.

One problem I have when I am trying not to drink is that I eat a lot...and I eat terribly. *sigh* I really will need to get back in the gym tomorrow.

So I've noticed a trend...

I've been reading more blogs online recently. Health and fitness blogs to be exact. Now some are awesome, with genuinely healthy people that do not obsess about what they eat, but others...Some people are restrictive, only eating certain foods. Others are following something called "intuitive eating" which appears to be a good idea, but I think some people use it as an excuse to binge eat (probably after all the restrictive eating they have been doing). No, I have no idea why I care about these random internet people and what they eat. I think it is just annoying that food is still so important and obsessed about among women. Food, of course, is important, but so are friends and family and books and "Star Trek" and doggies and about a zillion other things worth talking about more than food and how much you exercised. I will tell you what, I do not care how "little" you ate or how you "only had (insert low-calorie food here)" even though you went to the gym 4 hours. What a waste of time and life to obsess about these things. I'm so angry about it in part because I see it in myself to an extent. I am better than I used to be, but I am not going to delusion myself into thinking I do not feel guilty as hell if I don't get 5 days of exercise in a week. I'm working on it though and I do not only "allow" myself certain foods if I went to the gym. I think finding the balance is important. I will not miss important things because I think I have to go workout, I will not deny myself certain foods because I didn't go to the gym one day. I will not care if I go home after lifting instead of doing cardio because I am hungry after an 11 hour day. I will however feed my body the real nutrients it needs, I will keep it strong by both strengthening and doing cardio, I will sleep well, I will drink water.

I will not obsess. 

I will continue to watch Bro Science and laugh my ass off.

And I swear to science if I hear someone say the word "skinny" again before a delicious food I will punch them. Just eat your damn food and don't brag about it being healthy. Just eat, don't be crazy.

End rant.

Meal Planning

I need to start meal planning again! I feel I have been slightly out of control with my food recently and it is reflecting in my weight. I had gotten down to my lowest weight, but now I am back up and that makes me sad :( Keep in mind, these are all weights within 5 lbs or so of each other so I don't panic that much. My lifts were good last week, but my cardio was not. Also, I only worked out 4 days instead of 5. Well tomorrow begins a new week! So back to meal planning.

Mon:
Breakfast: Toast w/ peanut butter and banana
Lunch: Sandwich (not sure what kind yet)
Dinner: Steak with roasted vegetables (zucchini, onion, maybe cook up some spinach)
Snacks: Hummus and pretzel crisps probably...because I am obsessed.

Tomorrow at the gym I think I will do legs or back and biceps. Maybe a total body weight workout. We'll see what I feel like when I get there.

Vows to myself.

Sometimes I find something important in life that I vow to always remember. Today was one of those days. Now I don't know anything about being a mother, as I am not one yet, but someday I will be if it is in the cards for me. When that time comes, I want to try to remember to be thankful for my kid's health and for my health, instead of dwelling on how tired I am and how annoying it is that babies do not sleep. I think my only other vow for life so far has been to not be a crazy person about my wedding. The wedding is slightly less than three months away and I think I am doing a good job so far. I have a few mental panics, but I don't think I have been obnoxious to be around yet. The older I get the more I feel that life is just about perspective.